Planning Your Wedding at Paola United Methodist Church
We are happy that you are interested in consecrating your marriage at Paola United Methodist Church. These guidelines are intended to help you plan your wedding and avoid any last-minute surprises. We want your wedding day to be memorable for what went right rather than for what went wrong.
Scheduling
The date and time of your wedding must be cleared with the Pastor and the Administrative Secretary before the event is placed on the church calendar.
A non-refundable deposit of $100 also is required from non-members.
We prefer that weddings not begin after 5 p.m. on a Saturday.
Church use fees
The building is available for use by church members and their immediate families at no charge. However, custodial fees and other charges apply to all weddings. See the separate fee schedule for details.
Pastoral supervision
Our pastor normally performs all weddings involving members of the church and their close family. The pastor may agree to perform weddings for those who are not members of the church.
Gratuities for pastor and musician
Pre-marital conversation with the bride and groom, the rehearsal and ceremony itself will consume 10 hours or more of the pastor’s time. Regardless of whether you are a church member or not, this time is often in addition to the pastor’s regular duties. Therefore, it is expected that you offer compensation for the pastor’s time and effort. These days, $150 is customary.
If a musician from the church staff plays organ or piano at your wedding, a gratuity also is customary. Please negotiate the amount with the musician.
Reception
The United Methodist Women offer basic catering services if you hold the reception in the church Fellowship Hall. Contact the Reception Coordinator for details.
Conditions of use
Furniture in the sanctuary will not be moved.
It is expected that members of the wedding party will straighten up after the ceremony and leave church property in the same condition that they found it.
If candles are used in the wedding, some form of protection such as clear plastic must be used to protect nearby surfaces from dripping wax.
Liability
Those using the church are liable for any damage that may occur to church property. They also agree that they will not hold the church responsible for any damage to persons or property that occurs during use of the church, whatever the cause. The church also is not responsible for lost or stolen articles.
Premarital ‘counseling’
It is the policy of this church that a period of extended conversation, or premarital “counseling,” is required before the pastor will perform the wedding ceremony. Generally, three or four sessions of about an hour each are sufficient.
You will be given a set of forms that both bride and groom should complete and bring to the first session. These forms ask questions that will start the conversation going.
Supervision of children
Children are a blessing from the Lord. However, left to their own devices, they can cause damage to the building, sensitive electronic equipment and fragile furnishings – not to mention injuring themselves or others.
All children must be kept under close supervision before, during and after the
rehearsal and the wedding ceremony.
The wedding ritual
The pastor normally follows a traditional United Methodist wedding ritual. Additions such as songs and brief readings (especially from Scripture) are welcome. Minor changes in the ritual may be negotiated with the pastor.
The wedding ceremony
The basic wedding ceremony normally lasts about 20 minutes. Songs and readings will lengthen it somewhat. It will take 10-15 minutes to clear the room after the ceremony.
Groomsmen
Will they walk the bridesmaids down the aisle? Or will they come out earlier, perhaps from the side, with the pastor and the groom? Either works just as well.
Ring bearer
If you have a ring bearer, let him bring in plastic rings, not the real ones. The real rings should be kept by the Best Man and Maid of Honor.
Flower girl
If you have a flower girl, let her scatter blossoms cut from artificial (silk) plants. Real blossoms are easy to slip on (especially in high heels) and can be ground into the carpet.
Order of the ceremony
Musician plays as congregation gathers.
* Music changes.
Someone lights the altar candles or other candles.
Ushers bring in mothers. If there is a Unity Candle, mothers light the tapers beside it.
Ushers bring in grandparents.
Pastor and groom (and perhaps groomsmen) enter.
* Music changes.
Bridesmaids (and perhaps groomsmen) enter.
Ring bearer and flower girl (if any) enter.
* Music changes.
Bride enters with father.
Wedding ritual.
Musician plays as bride and groom exit.
Remainder of wedding party exits.
Congregation is dismissed.
Unity Candle
Use of the Unity Candle in the ceremony is optional, but its compelling symbolism is making it increasingly popular.
The tapers beside the central candle are usually lighted by the mothers of the bride and groom, signifying that they gave life to the couple.
When they have lighted the central candle, the bride and groom do not extinguish their individual tapers because their individual identities are not extinguished in the marriage.
Photography
Photographers are welcome to record the event. During the ceremony, they should be as unobtrusive as possible and not use flash.
If a video recording of the ceremony is being made, the balcony is an excellent station for the photographer.
Bubbles yes, but no rice, birdseed or confetti
Do not throw rice, birdseed or confetti at the bride and groom as they leave the church. These are hard to clean up afterward. Rice and birdseed also may cause women in high heels to slip and fall.
You may blow bubbles, though. Bubble kits are cheap and widely available.
Please designate someone to collect the cast-off bubble containers afterward.
Dressing rooms
The bride and her attendants may dress in the Nursery in the northwest corner of the building. The groom and his attendants may dress in the Choir Room immediately below the nursery.
Smoking
No smoking is allowed in the church. If you must smoke, please go outside – and clean up after yourself. Don’t just pitch cigarette butts into the lawn.
Alcoholic beverages
Consumption of alcoholic beverages in the building is not allowed.
Rehearsal
Rehearsal of the wedding ceremony is normally scheduled the evening before the wedding so the instructions will be fresh in everyone’s mind.
If all members of the wedding party arrive at the rehearsal on time and focus on the task at hand, a thorough rehearsal should take less than one hour.
Church use and other fees
The church facilities are always available to church member families at no charge. Custodial fees will be necessary for members and non-members. To qualify for member fees, the bride or the groom or a “parent” must be on the membership rolls of the church.
Church membership is an important step in your Christian journey. We do not encourage couples to become church members merely to avoid the fees paid by non-members.
Wedding Fees Non-Members
Pastor fee $ 150
Sanctuary fee $ 200
Fellowship Hall fee $ 100
Seven-branch candelabra rental $ 20
Aisle candle rental $ 5 per pair
Candelabra/aisle candles (dripless) $ 3 each
Large altar candles No Charge
Organist fee (set by organist)
Custodian fee (sanctuary only) $ 100
Custodian fee for Fellowship Hall (reception) $ 50
Custodian set-up fee for aisle candles $ 4 per pair
Custodian fee for wedding 5 p.m. or after $ 20
Wedding Fees for Members
Pastor fee (A gratuity may be given to the pastor)
Organist fee (set by organist)
Candelabra/aisle candles (drip less) $ 3 each
Candles – large altar No Charge
Custodian fee (sanctuary only) $ 75
Custodian fee Fellowship Hall (reception) $ 50
Custodian fee for Wedding 5 p.m. or after $ 20
Custodian set-up fee for aisle candles $ 4 per pair
All fees should be placed in separate envelopes and marked for pastor, custodian and church and received at the church office 30 days before the ceremony.
Before your wedding date can be placed on our church calendar, a $100 non-refundable deposit is required from all non–members.